The pressures of Christmas are here again


We all have a range of expectations about Christmas and these are often not met. Instead Christmas can be about increased stress, anxiety and depression.

It is a very expensive and exhausting time of year and the shops go crazy trying to start your spending increasingly early and increasing the amounts. In fact I apologise for sending this early because I don’t want to even think about Christmas until mid December but am forced to.

An if you run your own business, you may also need to cope with the Christmas shutdowns and the impact of that on cashflow.

Christmas can be a stressful time as many families are not totally about supportive love. A surprising number of families have their dark secrets about who bullied and even abused other family members. Yet media about the love and joy of being together bombards us.

In many families we end up with a bunch of people cooped up together expecting a wonderful loving time. Grandma has no idea why the tensions are there but there is lots of guilt around not upsetting her. The problem can be that while we can choose our friends we can’t choose either our relatives or our in-laws.

And of course your real family can be about the people you love most rather than the ones with the same genetic tree.

If you are one of the many people who have to cope with sharing Christmas with family members who abused you there is time to come and see me so that I can help you to pull the fuse out of those resulting emotions so that they just feel like historical facts.

I help your unconscious mind to deal with the problems from the past and the perpetrators in your wonderful imagination, leaving you feeling safe and relaxed to cope with the rest of your family and enjoy your day.

When you sort out any past bullying and abuse, it also has an amazing impact on the rest of your life because what happens in childhood and especially in our families sets us up for lack of confidence, higher stress and anxiety levels and being bullied throughout our lives until we defuse it.

Who is the driver in your life?


Do you consciously drive your own life and make your own decisions or are you actually in the passengers seat? Or do you go through this fast-paced world feeling as if you are being dragged through your weeks on the back of a wild horse? Do you rush from one thing to another until you end up back at home in the evening with just enough time to wind down and go to sleep, waking up the next morning to begin the wild ride once more.

The result is stress, anxiety and overwhelm.

STOP and ask why, who is really dragging you? How much of this is about the expectations that other people have put on us since our earliest childhood. How much is about pleasing other people? How much is about meeting your real needs?

You may be really happy racing along and that is great if it is YOU making that decision. However it is always a good idea to take some time out to reflect on whether you are truly in control.

If you are stressed and overwhelmed your lifestyle may not be the best for you and while we almost all have the necessity to bring in the income we need to survive and to support our dependents we can review how we do this and the choices we make.

Continual stress, anxiety, overwhelm and lack of sleep affect our health, reduce our energy, affect our relationships and push us into dependencies on food, drink or other comfort activities.

Cutting out the comfort activities can lead to serious problems where the comfort is actually the crutch that is keeping your overwhelm under control.

If any of this sounds like you please call me to see how I can help.

I spent much of my life on a treadmill at other people’s beck and call… parents, husbands, kids, bosses, the budget and the required lifestyle. I’ve been there as a daughter, wife, parent, breadwinner, employee, business owner and employer (and that is a huge responsibility for those other families as well).

Eventually I ended up with Breast Cancer, a double Mastectomy and an opportunity to stop and ask how I got there. What to do next? I chose to go back to my roots in neurophysiology, do lots of extra training and retraining so that I am now able to help others… hopefully before they get to that stage of massive overwhelm and illness.

If you want to explore getting off the treadmill earlier than I did or just need help to stop and ask the questions:

  • Who is really dragging you?
  • How much is about pleasing other people?
  • How much is about meeting your real needs?

Then call me and ask for help.

Learn to manage your own unconscious mind!


This Saturday, 11th November and also Saturday 18th between 1.00pm and 4.30pm I am running a Self Hypnosis and Trance States workshop at the WEA in 223 Angas St, Adelaide. I do this each term and you will learn an enormous of self-help techniques during this 7 hours of training.

I’d love to see you there. Book in at 8223 1979

Your powerful beliefs, thoughts and fears


Your beliefs, thoughts and fears are powerful, often damaging and you know that we all see things differently – which explains lots of disagreements of course. So how true are they? How did your develop your beliefs, thoughts and fears and more importantly are they helping you?

The thing is that these are largely taught to you by those around you… family, peers, teachers and many others.

In fact we are really a lot like onions with the person we really are in the middle of many layers of accumulated ideas, beliefs, habits, fears and more.

Many of the problems my clients come with are issues that are made so much worse by what they believe, the way that they look at the situation and how they limit themselves.

Many of the habits they want to change are also the result of habits copied from others, even imposed on them by others and the initial beliefs that this activity is going to be helpful, fun or even asserting independence (in the case of some habits started as teenagers).

You can choose to stop, look at some of your beliefs, thoughts and fears and why and how you developed them. Then decide whether some of these are helpful or unhelpful to you right now and how you can go about changing – if you wish.

You may find that simply reframing or choosing to change the way the way you think, believe or behave can do some of this… however

… in many cases and for deeply held fears and anxieties you probably need help to change and this can be done using the remarkable hypnotic technique I use called TRTP or The Richards Trauma Process.

The thing is that deep-seated beliefs, fears, anxieties and trauma are held in your body, not just in your conscious mind, which is why they often seem irrational. And you can’t consciously overcome them.

Two things must happen to change and heal. You need to be both empowered and every cell in your body must know that you are safe. This can be achieved in only 3-4 life transforming sessions using TRTP.

If you or someone you know is suffering from deep-seated fears, anxieties, unexplained anger or phobias that are limiting your life just STOP IT! Call me or simply book in to sort it out.

Learn to value your differences


We are all unique and special so do you know what is what is different and special about you then learn to value your differences.

I always felt I was different from the other kids in my class.   It was more than just being a migrant when I came to Australia.  Because I had rickets and wore callipers up to my waist until I was five, I never learned to run or jump so I was hopeless at sport, which is unacceptable in Australia,

I was dyslexic, which was not recognised when I was a kid because I devoured books and I read fast by recognising the shape and size of words but never saw the spelling. I was considered lazy, punished and kept in after school to learn to spell, which never worked until the advent of spell check on computers.

I was bullied at school for being different then married 3 bulling and abusive husbands became very stressed and ended up with breast cancer and PTSD.

I learned other skills, because that is what people do.  Once I got help to deal with the PTSD I developed more skills based on resolving the stuff that had happened. Then I did a lot more study to qualify me to help others. I also used my experiences to develop empathy and understanding for people with anxiety, stress, PTSD, autoimmune diseases, weight problems and more.

After 30 odd years of self-employment and business experience I am also good at helping stressed and anxious business people and help others through procrastination.

It is important to take time to look at what makes you different because you are… we all are.

Sometimes your differences are what make you vulnerable and a victim of bullying and abuse.  It is the abuser who has something wrong about them, not you.

However your very differences make you the special and unique person you are and you just need to develop the confidence to use your differences effectively.

Once you get rid of the ideas, doubts, fears and habits that other people have imposed on you, you will learn more about the special person you actually are.

Take your time to look both lovingly and also critically at yourself and your differences and put your hand up and ask for help if you needed it.

I help people all around Australia online if they are not in Adelaide using very easy videoconferencing on your computer, phone or tablet.

Why procrastination?


Procrastination frustrates so many people when they know they can achieve more or just get those jobs done but something always holds them back. It may be those  routine or even improvement chores around the house; it may be a work issue or perhaps helping your kids overcome their procrastination without making the problem worse with endless nagging.

It’s really a confidence thing caused by lifetime programming by parents, teachers, coaches and other kids giving you doubts about your ability to achieve the result you want, so it becomes safer to put it off than to risk failing. This is especially the case when you want to move beyond family expectations.

Your unconscious mind’s job is always to keep you safe. The problem is that your mind doesn’t realise that failing is not always the safest strategy.

I don’t need to tell you that you can become overwhelmed with all the things that you keep putting off and by the expectations of those around them. The list goes over and over in your head at night instead of letting you have a good sleep.

So much seems to be asked for at once that your mind can’t file it all leading to stress, anxiety, poor sleep and illness if it goes on.

A great strategy is to make lists and cross them out. Crossing them out with a big tick and a thick line through a completed job gives a real sense of satisfaction… more so that just rubbing them off a white board. You can see what you HAVE done and congratulate yourself.

If this isn’t enough to get you past procrastination, a great investment is simply to see me for help to clear out the trash that is stopping your unconscious mind helping you to achieve your goals.

What is your why


It is a really great exercise to stop and ask yourself why. What is your motivation in the various areas of your life and what do you really care about? Your purpose is what keeps your passion and joy alive.

Sometimes life gets too much, the world seems to be falling apart around us, and we are not sure what to hold onto anymore. It might be your relationships, your physical environment, your finances, your work. At other times, you may not be clear what has happened but you feel exposed and vulnerable.

When “stuff” happens you have an opportunity to rediscover our your sense of identity, safety, and well-being or your core, and your why which is the only truly safe place to call home.

The core of your being is not affected by circumstance or subject to the changes that happen. Who you really are is steady and consistent. as the sun. Sure, there are times when your core seems to be hard to find but it is always there, unchanging and strong.

Fifteen or so years ago I went through a very difficult time finishing many years with a manipulative and abusive husband who dissipated most of my finances. Shortly after I discovered that I had breast cancer and my world definitely felt as though it was falling apart.

That was a very good time to reassess my WHY and my WHO I am.

I went back to my roots as a neurophysiologist and took the risk of spending even more scarce money on a series of additional training programs and diplomas as I went on a journey to heal myself and rediscover my core person.

Hypnotherapy and especially The Richards Trauma Process (TRTP) were the tools I used to heal myself and I now run my hypnotherapy practice because I know very personally how life changing it is and I want to share this with others.

This is my WHY.

Never waste your life drifting without knowing your why or just living someone else’s design for you. You will be a much better friend, lover, partner and self when you choose to find your why.

Holding on is what hurts


How heavy is a glass of water?

The weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it feels.

Stress, trauma, anxieties and worries in life are like that glass of water.

In fact the weight does not matter… holding on is what hurts. If you hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If you hold it for an hour, your arm will ache. After a day a day, your arm will feel numb and paralysed.

The weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it feels. Holding on is what hurts.

Stress, trauma, anxieties  worries in life are like that glass of water. You can carry difficulties and stresses for a while and nothing happens. When it goes on longer without a break, holding on is what hurts. And if you continue without a break, you will feel paralysed – incapable of doing anything.

If you allow yourself to remain in a continually stressful situation without regular breaks, your body becomes ill as it turns on itself instead of what or whoever is causing your problem. This is what causes Autoimmune Disease, overweight as you insulate yourself, and even cancer.

Remember to put the “glass” down. Prolonged stress causes PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) just as effectively as major trauma does.

Make sure you find something that is relaxing for you and if you have gone beyond just having a break, make a time to come and see me. Self-medication with alcohol or smoking only increases your problems.

Are your work habits damaging?


One of the areas I specialise in is business stress and I often see areas where bad work habits increase your stress. Here are seven of the most common ones and how to fix them.

When you get rid of the bad habits you discover much more time. Then you can work on the various mindset things that impose limits on your self belief.

  1. Multitasking is actually counterproductive. If you think you’ll do more in less time just by completing two or three tasks at once, you’re simply wrong.

Humans have a very limited attention span. After a period of hard work, you might find some of your tasks unfinished and forgotten. Learn to prioritize them and do one thing at a time. When you focus on the task you are doing at any given moment it helps you stay productive for a long time.

  1. Checking your email every minute and allowing the notifications to come onto the screen as they come in is very distracting. One task at a time increases your productivity then allot times to check the emails or as you finish each task
  2. Having a messy desk impedes your ability to properly concentrate: and becomes very distracting. A clean and ordered desk is something that will help you focus on the job that needs to be done.
  3. Failing to eat healthy lunches or snacks causes your concentration and focus to suffer and eating junk food gives you high volumes of salt and simple carbs and you may find yourself feeling like a zombie for the rest of the day. Plus having a bit of mental space away from your work-tasks will provide you with lots more energy and inspiration.
  4. You avoid exercise because it eats into your work time. In fact you need the exercise in your life for mental and physical health. It may seem counter-intuitive when you feel like you don’t have any free time, nor energy left in you at the end of the workday But you actually get more energy to last through a busy day when you are physically fit.
  5. You constantly check your phone. Your phone is there for you, not the other way round. It is a very ill-mannered tool that simply butts into your life. Organise to take messages and answer those messages when it fits in with what you are doing.
  6. You use social media as a break. Checking your news feed can make you feel yourself more tired than before. And it simply eats your time! Use your break to rest your eyes and stretch your legs instead.

In order to stay focused, healthy and productive you need to learn how to shut out the frenzy of your professional life and embrace good habits that will make your time at work all the more enjoyable.

If you are stressed at work, contact me to see if I can help you.

It’s about how you recover


We all know that stuff happens but what matters is how you recover… or what happens next.  That is about your response, your decisions your choices.

The thing is that you can choose to control what happens next and how you respond and manage your future. You can choose to step up and make changes to your thoughts, your self-talk, your habits, your environment and even the people around you if they are not helpful.

The first step to solving any problem is to listen to what you say to yourself and pick up the patterns of limitation, and so often self abuse that you regularly repeat…

Things like “oh you are stupid” when you make a mistake, “I want to but I know I am not good enough”, “people always pick on me” etc, etc, etc!

Listen to what you think and reflect backwards to understand what has happened and also the patterns that have been controlling your unconscious beliefs. This gives you an insight into what your main blocks are and why your unconscious mind thinks that choosing what happens next is unsafe.

I remember reading a quotation from Steve Waugh, the Cricketer, along the lines of “the measure of a man is how he picks himself up after he has failed.”

Sometimes picking yourself up can be difficult on your own but you reach out for help for help and this is what I do.

My skill is to help you to clear out faulty habits, dud programs in your head and memories that hold you back so that you can pick yourself up and live your life the way that you really want to.

Give me a ring to ask for help or just book in by clicking on the black box on the left and choosing a time and date.

Latest Newsletter

The pressures of Christmas are here again

We all have a range of expectations about Christmas and these are often not met. Instead Christmas can be about increased stress, anxiety and depression.

It is a very expensive and exhausting time of year and the shops go crazy trying to start your spending increasingly early and increasing the amounts. In fact I apologise for sending this early because I don’t want to even think about Christmas until mid December but am forced to.

An if you run your own business, you may also need to cop...

View the full newsletter here...

Who is the driver in your life?

Do you consciously drive your own life and make your own decisions or are you actually in the passengers seat? Or do you go through this fast-paced world feeling as if you are being dragged through your weeks on the back of a wild horse? Do you rush from one thing to another until you end up back at home in the evening with just enough time to wind down and go to sleep, waking up the next morning to begin the wild ride once more.

The result is stress, anxiety and overwhelm.

STOP and ask why...

View the full newsletter here...

Learn to manage your own unconscious mind!

This Saturday, 11th November and also Saturday 18th between 1.00pm and 4.30pm I am running a Self Hypnosis and Trance States workshop at the WEA in 223 Angas St, Adelaide. I do this each term and you will learn an enormous of self-help techniques during this 7 hours of training.

I’d love to see you there. Book in at 8223 197...

View the full newsletter here...