Why New Year resolutions so often fail

January 5th, 2018

The big problem with New Year resolutions is that our Unconscious mind, not our conscious mind, controls 90% of what we do and it is the boss.

Our unconscious mind’ job is to keep us safe. What we know and have done for years is safe… we have survived.

Change is scary and we are intrinsically afraid of change. We need to stay safe as our number one priority.m

The other thing is that our unconscious mind is like a toddler (or a puppy). Let it get away with something – just once – and this leaves the door open to keeping on doing that, to revert to the old unwanted behaviour.

You end up consciously behaving like a strict parent trying to control your determined unconscious mind and your unconscious mind throws tantrums to try to get you to let it revert back to the “safe” old behaviour.

In my house I am finding this on two man levels. Once is with being consistent in setting the boundaries for my puppy and yes I am taking her to dog school… her third term starts in just over a week. She is now 9 months old and that is equivalent to a young rebellious teenager… I noticed that she is very like my 14year old grandson as she tests her boundaries

My other challenge is something I thought I had resolved several years ago – sugary deserts, chocolate and Champagne. It is pretty nearly under control again but Christmas and all the celebrations before Christmas was the ‘just once” that caused some issues.

New Year is a great time to reset your various boundaries however you need to be aware of the issues involved.

  • Avoid changing too much at once it will just cause stress. One thing at a time works best.
  • Setting up some regular affirmations abut the behaviour you are changing and repeating them regularly is a form of self-hypnosis that works well, especially last thing at night and when you first wake up.
  • If you really feel blocked by something you can ask your unconscious mind to let you know what you need to change, just as you go to sleep at night. Have a pen and paper handy to jot down the answer you may get a 3am.

Of course if you really are blocked give me a call and come in for help.

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